Has this happened before??? Ever?

Honestly, I have never, ever heard or seen a team win three freakin games back to back to back on flipping walk off hits/homeruns. I have never been so frustrated with a streak of games. And it is so hard to pick one aspect to point out. Gardy is retardy. Bullpen is wow. Clutch hitting took the A train out of town. I can't remember how many times we had 1st and 3rd one out, 1st and 2nd no body out, shit even bases loaded with none or one out and can't muster a freakin run. Its like we get to Gomez and Punto and just say forget it. We'll just move on to the next inning. Christ. Whatever. Well maybe playing on ESPN tonight will change things, just hope that Gary Thorne is working the game. I swear, if Thorne, Buck Martinez and Vince Scully ever called a game together, I might die. Throw Bert in there as a field reporter and it would just make my lifetime, for sure.

The Curse is known by a single name: Punto

So the shit bag appeared in the Twins' first 27 games, and there were 3 games under .500 and 5 games back in the Central. Insert Brendan Harris, the Twins reel off two in a row and score 20 freakin runs. Harris is more than capable in the field and is the Bizzarro-Punto at the plate. His numbers are almost, shit they are, better than Punto's in 5 less games and 19 less at bats. Still think that with Tolbert at 2nd, Harris at short and "oh my aching hamstring" Crede at 3rd, the Twinks put a solid defensive unit on the field.

Just get that fuck out of the line up, Gardy. Stop being stubborn and honoring the old guard, get that shit out the game. While you're at it, make a goddamn decision in the outfield. Either play Gomez and take your lumps or ship his ass to Rochester to grow up and get some experience. I get it, he has the tools and athleticism to be in the bigs, but he has got to bet more consistant everywhere. In the seat next to him, throw Mijares--he'd better pack a big lunch, he'll be there for a while. 3 times he's been put in and failed to get the lefties out. And I still am dumbfounded the Dickey is still with the team. Who has a fuckin knuckleballer as a relief pitcher? Note to Bill Smith; Send back Duensing and Humber please and soon.

WTF Twins?...Again...

So this is like going to bar on Friday night and pulling a hottie and then going back on Saturday night to come home with a sea donkey. How can you seriously live on both ends of the spectrum so close together? Alexi Casilla might be the worst baseball player on the team right now. Seriously. He would have better luck trying to lean into one rather than swing at it. And I disagree with Russell, no way could Tolbert be playing this bad in Rochester.

I feel so much better today...

Finally. Frankie goes 7 1/3 giving up only 1 earned run. Guerrier didn't completely blow up and Casilla was even able to get a couple rbis--still swinging a sultry .163 guh. Cuddy is seeing the ball extremely well right now and Baby Jesus actually had an off night, even striking out twice. The only bad part of the night was Jerry White taking one off the inside of the right foot, but he is a gamer, he'll be back tonight. Well knock on wood, let's get one more here tonight.

I have been putting this off...

It has been a hellacious week, thusly the lack of posting. The Twinks ended the first month of play under achieving in some eyes, but managing in others, going 11-11 without (and this is the greatest nickname ever via Down with Goldy) Baby Jesus. This group could have achieved much more if Gardy hadn't been inspecting his own colon for the past month. Let's run down the list of what should be done here:

#1 Get rid of freakin Nick Punto. He hits about as well as an old lady and fields like a teenager that is scared out of his mind, constantly going oh shit, oh shit, oh shit until he gets rid of the ball. Easiest of the positions to fix, Brendan Harris. End of discussion, moving on.

#2 Find a hole for Cuddyer to spend his Crash Davis years. You would have thought having the confidence of the idiot on the bench in you, that you will be there every day would calm you down and allow you to perform...uh apparently not. He is not carrying the stick he has in the past nor the defensive prowless from seasons past.

#3 Keep Denard Span off of the bench. If you're going to platoon in the outfield, he needs to be out there every day. Fix #1 trade problem #2. Fix #2 send Go Go down down. He needed work last year and we stuck with him, but with 4 everyday outfielders and Kuebel more than capable, we need a fix out there. Right now, Span is the best defensive one out there and best hitter.

#4 Who has taken Scott Baker and when are you bringing him back? 0-4 and let's guess about 12 home runs given up and a 9+ ERA. Ace of the staff who?

#4a What the hell has happened to Liriano? He should have won his last start if they didn't shit the bed after his first quality start of the year.

#5 The bullpen as a whole: The experiments are just not working out Mr. Smith. Dickey you really don't need a knucle baller coming out of the pen, Murillo or whatever his name was-wow Ricky Vaughn called, wants his control back, Guierrer has spent his talent-didn't take long, and Breslow looks scared as shit. Get rid of RA Dickey, especially when you don't trust him to throw his out pitch with runners on. As soon as they brought him in last night, I told the wife that we wouldn't get out of the half inning down less than 2 runs...well it was 3.

Gardy, you rode the wave of that 2002 contraction bid as far as you can. Now you actually are going to have to manage a big league ball club. If you're going to carry 3 catchers, use it the right way and keep Mauer in the lineup, everyday now that he's back. Figure out how to handle your bullpen, not sure who made the final choice (sure you had something to do with it) but Humber and Duensing are way better than Dickey and Breslow. Fix it now or send yourelf down to Rochester and see what you can do down there to get your confidence back.

Bottom line for the Twins: Get your shit together.

Shutting down the Crain-wreck

Jessie Crain was placed on the 15 day disabled list today with inflimation in his throwing shoulder. GM Bill Smith said that it was more precautionary than anything, but shutting him down for a week and then starting a program the week after is the best course of action.

In the meanwhile, the Twins recalled the 2009 version of the big sweat: Jose Mijares. Now this guy came into spring camp overweight, out of shape and in no condition to pitch in the big leagues. He has gone down to Rochester and done very well. He has gone like 7 appearances without giving up a run and seems to be locked in and trying to prove that last fall's callup was no fluke. Here's to hoping that the fat mexican isn't a mexican't and can get it done for the Twins coming up here.

Peace out.

Break out the brooms...

And send those fuckers out of town. Perkins turned in another gem, going 8 and giving up only 1 run. Giving the short bus crew a nice & needed day off, using only Nathan for a scoreless 9th. Tomorrow's a day off before heading to Boston, which will be worse than a regular game for them, Patriot Day tomorrow, so they play at 11am, going to be tough with a hangover I'm sure.

But it seems that each year, our boys seem to find something, some quirk to hand their hat on and define themselves. Sure as shit, 11 games in and a 4-7 record, the Twinkies found theirs for 2009. Don't worry about a thing, every little thing going to be alright. Lyrics from a Bob Marley song carried the guys through the sweep this weekend. Hopefully they don't follow any other Marley andedocts and stay off the dope.

What a refreshing evening...

I'm doing this in the bottom of the sixth, so I hope that it doesn't blow up in my face. But it's a really good feeling to see someone else's bullpen completely blow up and give the other team a big inning. The Angels went to the 'pen in the 5th and the Twins responded with a 5 run inning. 2 wild pitches and 3 hits brought the runs in. Could have been worse, but the Twins left runners on 2nd and 3rd...they were there with no outs mind you.

I see two bats that the Twins are going to have a tough time keeping out of the line up. One of my preseason favorites, Brendan Harris, and one of my preseason guppies, Jason Kubel. Kubel is on like a 8-9 tear with 6 rbi's and a cycle to boot. Harris is finally bringing some pop to the middle infield, Gardy should put him at short tomorrow. Please.

Two bats that are struggling beyond struggling are those of Cuddyer and Gomez. Gomez was facing a guy who walked two in a row and Gomez was up in the count 2-0. What does go go do?Oh yeah, hack at the next three pitches and pop out. Awesome. Cuddy's only 0-3 and left 5 on base tonight alone. Ya would think that a guy who is told right field is his and that's that would just relax and hit? Nope. Pressing as bad as Derr. Side not, got Curly to say Derrrrrrr today. Awesome.

I feel like the worst fan in the world...

So the Twins were en route to another route of a loss in the 6th inning. Blackburn had pitched well enough, but of course the bullpen was doing there best to make the Angels look like the '98 Yankees. Blackie had given up just three through 6 1/3 and Crainwreck immediately came in to give up 5 (1 Blackburn was responsible for) in 1/3 of an inning. Awesome. At that point, the Vicoden kicked in and I was out. Little do I know that Kuebel comes in and hits a salami in the bottom of the 8th to complete the cycle. God I feel like an ass missing the end of this game. But like we talked about yesterday, we'll all get another chance tonight. I love baseball. Mom, have a safe trip home today, we'll get the pictures of the girls up there for you and the girls in person this summer. Love you and travel safely.

So an epiphany hits me during a nap...

So today I got a nap in and during which I had a revelation of sorts-well of sports. Baseball is so great in the thought that each day is a new day. Sure statistics and standards are cumulative, but yesterday was yesterday and the last game is over. Now, I come to the plate 0-0 and my team is tied 0-0 starting the top of the first. We get another shot, we are reborn each day and given a clean slate to be contenders again We get another opportunity to have people say, "Wow, these guys could beat anyone on any given night." This is one of the greatest things I love about baseball. I disagree that it's boring and argue with the people that can't stand to watch each pitch, each night. Do you not understand that the play of the game or turning point of the season could happen on any play/pitch? Ask any team that lost their star to injury in a single instance. And as I turn the channel to the Twins game, here they are, starting a new game in a new series, tied 0-0.

Matt Guierrer burn in hell

I cannot stand watching this homo pitch anymore. So Frankie gives a half decent effort, 6 innings 2 runs and of course we turn to the BP machine. Breslow was ready to go, but again, Gardy goes with this butt buddy and it was inevitable.

Update: Breslow gives up a grand slam to one of the worst baseball players of all time to win a World Series ring: Kevin Millar and the Twins go on to lose 9-2. I predicted it this morning--either a 2-1 Twins win or 11-1 loss...close enough. Christ on a bike, the Twins are horrible at home right now and need to right the ship this weekend versus the Angels of Los Angelas of Anaheim or wherever the fuck they are from.

Well hopefully this weekend we can finally get some boats and hoes.

Good Bye John Madden

Thank God. Over due. About damn time. What else do you want me to say? I could never stand the guy, honestly. I know that Doc can attest, but I don't recall how many times we would mute the TV and turn on the radio so that we just didn't have to hear him and his ridiculous analogies. One of the most decorated and annoying personalities in all of sports, I'm sure that he'll be missed by many and mentioned multiple times per Sunday night games throughout the year, but he will not be missed by this guy.

Yeah, Happy Birthday Feever

So great showing by Baker yesterday, wow. I was pissed at my wife for watching other crap with her girlfriend while the game was on. But as we flipped back and forth and I watched the on-line game cast, with each home run it grew more and more obvious that the game sucked and I would continue down to the bottom of my Bud Light.

Baker gave up 4 home runs and I think that only 1 was a solo shot. Not a good night, I'll leave it at that and move on to tonight--which should be a beauty. Liriano and Holliday. 'nuff said. I'll be back tonight with an update.

Sorry about the lapse...

So after a week, here are some Twins thoughts over the first 9 games.

Joe Mauer--Please come back soon as possible. Jose Morales is young, scared as Skippy at a strip joint and was able to call pitches for all of about 12 innings and then Rick Anderson took over. Redmon is great and all, granted I don't have as big of a man crush as Doc does, but he does turn 127 in June. Please, Joe, come back soon.

Joe Crede--Does anyone else get the feeling that he is like Jack Parkman in Major League 2? Yet to hear Bert make the comment of how a change in uniform makes you change your attitude about someone (the guy's still a prick). I don't know, just can't enjoy the guy, hopefully he'll punch AJ Homo in their next series. That might get him into the hearts of Minnesotans.

Delmon Young--You're the odd man out here buddy, start making better decisions at the plate or you're on the fast track to the Nationals. Seriously, he might be better off by going up to the plate without a bat--this will prevent him from swinging at 3 straight balls. Didn't this guy hit like .700 in the first part of spring training? What the fuck?

The Derr--I don't know if he's taken a pitch yet. He had a swing and a miss on Monday night that hurt me. To say that he's not trying to fill the void of Mauer, would be to more than try and fool one's self.

Gardy--Stop fucking around. Luis Ayala is terrible. Realize it and accept it. Nathan can pitch outside of the bottom of the 9th, listen to Doc and Bert, they are smarter than they look.

Happy 30th Birthday Feever!

Poor Reeser

All I can picture is Fee dropping pennies on the floor in front of Reese's locker...making sure they are all heads up.

2009 Twins Outlook

Follow here to my preview.

Introduction: 2009 Twins' Prospectus

This is my first attempt at a season prospectus for the Minnesota Twins, so work with me a little as we work some kinks out and get some Twins’ chatter going.
2008 will be known as the “Coin Toss” season or the year that just came up short. But it was a terrific season, full of positives. Like watching younger players (Gomez, Casilla, & Span) find their legs in the bigs and key returnees (Morneau & Mauer) finding their MVP form again. It also had it’s own share of disappointment. Michael Cuddyer & new guy Matt Tolbert being hurt most of the year stung after watching both sprint out to a fantastic start to the season. Having to watch Nick Punto rename the Mendoza Line the Punto Line was a horrifying experience. Middle relief needed some relief as Matt “B.P.” Guerrier & Jesse Crain”wreck” dazzled us with their ability to give up 7 runs on 1 pitch. How these guys did not team up for a 1000.35 ERA is beyond me. I cringed every time they came into the game. I swear that Guerrier has something on Gardy to keep him on the roster. But there seems to be some help on the way for the pen, but we’ll get to that later.

It continues...

Fuck this. My team fizzled out at the end of the year and missed the damn tournament. The Gophers have been a freakin joke lately. Duke blows donkey dick. This is just an abomination of all the damn sports that I have enjoyed this winter season. I vow to not post until the Twins start up with some news rather than waste my and your time on this shit.

Ending the hiatus

Well it's been a week and a lot has gone down. Let's do our best to touch on the major points.

Gopher men: Sucked one in the barn with Purdue in the house. Saw only the 2nd half and they were terrible. No where near the team that played so well in Madison. Bounced back and got one that they had to have in Bloomington. That Indiana team will do some things next season, but they are having to deal with the crap that Sampson left behind. What an idiot. Big one tomorrow night, with Illinois coming to the Barn and they really need this one to maintain a solid 3rd in the Big Ten and climb into a virtual tie for 2nd. The then get an extra break to travel to East Lansing and take on #9 Michigan State. Playing in Izzone will be a true test for the Gophers. If Nolan can stay out of foul trouble and handle the ball and attack the rim the way that he has recently, the Gophers can come out with what would be an upset and to date biggest win of Tubby Smith's tenure in Dinky Town.

Gopher Hockey: Thank God had a weekend off, now they need to get themselves back on the train and take care of the details to securing an NCAA tournament bid. I think Doc said they are 4th or 5th in the Pairwise Rankings. But the Susies are red-hot, made oh so clear by Feever and are climbing the charts like a gal darn Brittany Spears song (hopefully met with the same ending!) . Border Battle with Bucky this weekend. I know that I am going to either place or get a call from OB...at least he took the freakin On Wisconsin reback off of his phone.

Iowa Women's Basketball: Yeah, I know. But Kamille Wahlin got her first collegiate start the other night and did a fantastic job for the Hawkeyes. It is a different kind of feeling to see a kid that you watched grow up play on what could be the biggest stage for her and for any athlete to come out of Crookston in a long, long time. Correct me if I'm wrong, please! We'll have to see how long this starting string lasts, I know that she didn't play herself out of starting again, but had heard that injuries had brought her to the first five. But we'll see! Very, very proud of her and Schmitty for getting her going in the right direction... This quote will be forever immortalized in Crookston by Frank the Tank though, "I don't care if she scores 50 points a game, she will not play varsity this year." That lasted what eight games?

Well that eases the sting a little bit...

Michigan State got bit at home by Northwestern tonight, which in turn validates their win versus the Gophers the other night. But nonetheless the lowly 'Cats now have 2 Big 10 victories which triples their total from last season, 7 games into the Big Ten schedule.

The Cat's win allowed the Gophers to get within a 1/2 game of Sparty, but the Gooph's can't look too far down the road. They have Purdue coming to The Barn tomorrow night, then a must win in Bloomington on Sunday afternoon and then the Fighting Illini come to Willliams Arena a week from tomorrow. So a big run for the Gophers if they want to prove that they belong among the big boys in the conference and garner the respect they feel they deserve nationally.

Personally, watching the Gophers in a couple of games and seeing a lot of ACC games on local, these kids can play with anyone. With the amount of pressure that they apply and the depth of the bench would give anyone in the ACC or Big East fits. It will be interesting to see if the Gophers can continue to be strong through the remainder of their Big Ten schedule and if they can make some noise come March/April.

Hopefully rolling blog tomorrow night with the game being on ESPN2.

Word.

WTF Twins?

What the hell are the Twins trying to accomplish this off season? Bill Smith must be on freakin crack or Carl Pohlad is reaching out from beyond. Another BIG signing today...Jason Freakin Kuebel. Talk about a huge let down from the hype that accompanied him from AAA. He was supposed to be the slugger before Morneau showed up. He was supposed to be the young gun, face of the franchise before Joe and his bluest blue eyes donned the #7. I am, needless to say, less than thrilled to see this signing. The only thing that I can see happening is Denard Span getting the shaft back to AAA. I don't think that they will crush the petite, fragile psyche that is Carlos Gomez. And neither of those things is good for the ball club. Do we really need to pay a freakin light weight hitting DH $2.5 million plus?

Then, to add on top of that monstrosity, the front office's answer to the joke that was middle relief is either Brandon Lyon or Eric Gagne. Lyon was pitching in the National League and mediocre as a middle reliever and closer. Gagne had the wrost year of his career last year and just wow, I can't believe this is where we are headed.

Gopher Fans #1 & #1a

Weens has them enshrined into the Gopher Hole Wall 'O Gophs already.

Ha ha ha ha ha, seriously.

"Because of the impending bad weather, Southampton County Public Schools will be closed today..."

This is awesome, the threat of bad weather induces the Super to cancel school. However unable to deal with any type of precipitation that could make travel difficult, student safety is a priority and understandable.

But, it's still hilarious that the threat of weather can cancel an entire day.

I still go back 5 years ago to my first year of teaching. On a Sunday night, Virginia got three inches and Crookston got three feet. Crookston had a 2 hour delay and so did we...on Friday.


UPDATE: So it snowed for about 2o minutes at 9am and all but a dusting in the shadows was gone by 10am. I actually felt bad about not having to go to work today...kind of anyways.

Did that just happen?

Did I just watch the Arizona Cardinals make it to the Super Bowl? Wow. For the first half, I was just waiting for Philly to regain their feet and get back in and take the lead in the game, but the Cards kept coming at them (with a little help from a flee-flicker). It wasn't until the second half that the Cards starting looking like the Vikings and let the Eagles actually take the lead. But the Cards of the Desert had a little fight left in them and by gosh, got themselves into the big one in 2 weeks.

Would love to be watching the Steelers and Ravens...but we're watching what is the equivalent to two and a half days of pre-game for the inaguration. Hey historical event and all...but it's on Tuesday. Cut me some slack here.

Hopefully more later...hopefully.

UPDATE:

I f'ed this one up, thought the game was later and the Gopher's pissed one away at Northwestern. Cripes. Down with Goldly has a lot better run down than what I can say. That wrecks the evening.

Quick Look Back and Ahead

Gophers Hockey has a great weekend, getting the sweep of the Huskies in the obsurdness that is a home and home series. Let's not get started on that mess.

Gopher's Basketball can complete a huge week by getting a win tonight at Northwestern. Let's see if we can teach those brainiacs something about hoops.

Duke escaped with one yesterday, I do say escaped asif Georgetown's center, Mason is able to stay out of foul trouble, that game has a whole new look & feel.

I can't believe that ehe Cardinal's are playing with the Eagles! Well more than anything, Arizona is just making fewer mistakes (as I type Akers just missed).

I agree with Dan Shanoff--if someone doesn't capitalize on #23b Brown's jersies...

Quick Look Back at the Gopher's Game

So the Gophers were able to knock down a couple of key threes to get the game to overtime and then used fantastic big man play to win the game. Carter, Johnson, and Westbrook were phenomenal throughout and Nolen contributed what he could, staying in foul trouble all night. Great win for Tubby and the Maroon and Gold. Tough couple weeks ahead, with the biggest test by far coming when they will travel to East Lansing to take on Michigan State on February the 4th.

Day off from work, Lee-Jackson Holiday, or as I like to call it Red Neck Friday. Just another fabulous perk for being a teacher. Enjoy your 9-5 suckers...

Gopher's Basketball

So far, not so bad for the Golden Gopher basketball programs tonight. The women went to Columbus and won for the first time in 25 tries...which would be every visit they had made to the Buckeye state. Nice win for the ladies.

Approaching halftime here, the men have played in spurts, both good and bad. And they just finished on a bad one. Gophers started out on fire, opening a 13-4 lead on the Badgers, but saw the Cheesers come back on 29-9 run to finish the half. The Gophers cut the lead to 8 with :40 and the ball but were unable to execute an inbounds play for a score and the goober in the googles made it an 11 point halftime lead. Summamabitch

UPDATE
Goophs come back from 14 down to force overtime here...a three with 2.1 second ties it. This Westbrook kid has been electric tonight. Carter kid is one helluva leaper.

I know I haven't seen a load of basketball players at the U like this in about 10 or 12 years...and they are young!

Holy Crap

So sit down to check out some college hoops tonight and catch Jodie Meeks of Kentucky go completely off, scoring 54 against Tennessee. Now the Volunteers are no defensive juggernaut, but damn, ten 3's and nailed a heat check three with about four minutes to go to put the icing on the cake. Unbelievable performance and probably the best hit of the night was his interview after the game. Probably bullshitting his ass off, but said his biggest accomplishment was just getting a win in Knoxville. Impressive attitude young man, send a little of that over this way, my guys could use some of that.

Peace out

WM

Recent Poll

Here's the most recent USCHO.com poll...the Goophs took a bit of a tumble (3 to 7) after getting scalped by the Susies in Forks this weekend.

And by the way, my wife is trying to ruin me by making me watch the CW on Monday nights...

WM

Bigger than games...

So many times in our lives today do we over look what is truly important, our family and friends, for what is hot right now. I get trapped in what I'm doing some of the time, and I really hate myself sometimes for that. A player of mine lost a brother on Friday morning and I spent the weekend still coaching and spending time with my players, but I missed out on two more bed times, a bunch of giggles and smiles and thousands of memories with my own girls. I often worry that I'm working too much and am missing too much...but I know that if we sacrifice now it will allow me to enjoy them that much more further down the road. But with the passing of a 4 year old, you have to wonder how much road do we each have left and how much savoring of time do we need to do now.

WM

Guh

So tried calling Weens on the bus ride home last night and there was no answer, which is no real surprise, but when Doc takes forever to answer = bad news. Kangas getting dumped in the 2nd period can't be good...should be an interesting week of hearing from Sussies' fans. Speaking of which, Feever gave me the quick low down in a text, and speaking as a typical muckety muck, he told me of domination by the Kelly Green & Black.

With the sweep, the Gophs and Sioux are now tied for 4th with 17 points, six behind league leading Denver. But with no team with less than four losses, and with Tech as the only team that looks like they don't belong, should be a great finish.

Might be the first time in a how long, I can't remember when the WCHA did not have four teams in the NCAA's, might just be 2 this year, yikes.

WM

Gooph's vs. Susies

So from the Weens we hear that the Susies completely outplayed the Gophers. 2-0 half way through the 2nd brings us to a 6-3 final. I can understand it to a point, head coach not making the trip makes a lot of sense for the team to play down to a Junior B, Canadian Juniors league hockey team. But nonetheless, Siouxguy is going to be a bowl full of jello shaking around talking about the game. But we'll see what tomorrow brings. But something about Saturday games that makes the traveling team a dog, no matter the advantage...more in the AM with the girls.

WM

Let it begin...

This is the original, beta version of Drinking with Bert and Wooger. Two of my favorite color commentators that we often believe, by the contents of some of their comments, are half or fully in the bag when they are on air.

I'm sure that others remember Bert's on air f-bomb tirade in New York, if you missed it here it is. Priceless

Wooger is a very unique creature to say the least. The number of Woogisms that follow a Gopher game is astounding. By far, my favorite line came during overtime..."Whoever gets the next goal has great chance to win this game!" Swear to God.

Feel free to drop a comment or line, I look forward to get going on here. Exploring different sports and personalities in the sports world. We will concentrate upon Minnesota sports, save the soccer and lacrosse teams, and point out all the things that make us chuckle and proud that we're not Badger or Sioux fans...

WM